I wanted to wait a week longer to tell everyone the good news but, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I can’t keep a secret, especially a good one.
Overcoming Self-Doubt
Though my mother liked to call me a showoff, I am not a performer. Decades ago, when my marketing department (all of two people) told me I had to become the face of Arkansas Flag & Banner, Inc., I balked. They literally had to guilt me into it as part of my job description.
This exploitation of my face came with some serious considerations. In my younger days, before camera phones and online hook-ups, people went out at night. We didn’t binge on Netflix or World of Warcraft games, we binged on partying at bars, with friends, and live bands. Binging for us was to get rip roaring drunk at Cajun’s Wharf and dance (that’s a joke for us over 50). So my behavior could be an issue. Another issue to consider with fame is self-scrutiny. It is hard to look at a picture of yourself and not be overly critical. Have you ever tried listening to yourself on a recording and think “Geeze, do I sound like that?”
I have. And, 40 years later, I still remember it.
Because buying a newfangled answering machine was so exciting and disheartening at the same time, I still remember where I was when I bought one, unpacked it, and went to set it up. Sitting on the floor of my crappy apartment in downtown Norh Little Rock, AR, I heard the replay of my voice: “Thank you for calling. I’m not here right now, please leave a message at the beep.” And I thought, “Who is that twangy woman on my answering machine?” My confidence was dashed. Little did I know it was only the beginning of becoming who I am today: more comfortable with the uncomfortable.
I am telling you all this because it brings me to my big reveal. And I love a big reveal.
Smoke and Mirrors
Having attended a one-year fashion college in Dallas, I have a love for clothes, make-up, and hair; and I watch all the latest fashion trends with a keen eye (Anybody remember Elsa Klench’s style show?). I surprise everyone with my fashion risks and attention to details. Theme dressing for a photo shoot or commercial is fun for me. I cake on the makeup like an artist with a paint brush, add hair extensions, and put a little strip of stretchy tape behind my neck so it won’t look so saggy for my close ups (got that tip from Jane Fonda). But taking the next step to a face lift is scary. IT’S YOUR FACE!
I know I look good for my age. But I also know consumers are ageists and especially hard on women. I have spent innumerable amounts of money on facials, peels, and lotions, but nothing can really stop the advance of saggy skin. My sons and husband tell me I look fine. My daughter, and my biggest cheerleader, tells me its past time to get a face lift.
It’s a Family Tradition
Then it happened. My older, always-playing-it-safe sister (who I asked if I could mention) told me she has had enough of it! Enough of feeling one way and looking another. That she has taken the leap and made a facelift appointment, put the money down, and now, there is no turning back.
That is when we thought of our mother and saw her through new eyes. We saw how brave and self-concious she must have been to get a facelift 50 years ago. They were new; almost experimental. And for her -a middle aged, agoraphobic woman- to have saved up and spent hard-earned-money on something so expensive and impractical must have been incredibly brave.
When the day of my sister’s surgery came, her husband drove her. Four hours later, he picked her up, and rolled her into an out-patient hotel near the surgery center. Impatient to see, I came early for my night shift duty and got my post-op instructions.
After the nurse came by the hotel room to check in, we ended up having a great bunking party. A night that my sister doesn’t remember well, but I do. She was drunk on anesthesia and painkillers, and I was drunk on wine. We talked, cried, and reminisced again about our mother, who had social anxiety before it had a name (another non-risk-taker like my sister) who always stayed close to home, and who, having lived through the Depression and WWII, never wasted money unnecessarily but had done this same thing.
The Big Reveal
Five weeks later, my sister and I met up. I couldn’t believe it. She looked fantastic.
A month later, to my daughter’s delight, I decided it was time to follow in our family tradition and made my appointment with Dr. Shewmake, who I have known for 20+ years. I’ve even interviewed him on my podcast, where I asked, “Dr. Shewmake, aren’t face lifts passe?” For which he replied, “not to me.” Guess I’ll have to eat my words.
It’s a Big Surgery
Now, as always, I am not going to kid you. This was a big decision and a big surgery. I was anesthetized for a 2-3 hour operation. Because Shewmake’s team uses IV hydration and vitamins right after your surgery, bruising and recovery time are shortened, (the above picture was taken 14 days after surgery) but you still need to plan for a two week reprieve. If, for nothing else, just to come out of the anesthesia fog.
Thank you to all the women in my life, to Dr. Chris Shewmake and his staff, and to my friends, family, and followers for all their encouragment and support.
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