Creative Stories

How to get on “The View” TV show? Seriously.

Today I had an epiphany. Well not really today, I have been thinking about this ever since I heard Star Jones was leaving “The View” (The View is a woman’s talk show that comes on in the mornings on ABC). My epiphany is…I should replace Star Jones. Why not? That show is missing a real person and on the minority barometer a southern woman ranks almost as high as a black woman. I could be the Real McCoy (sorry I couldn’t resist).

My qualifications? Well, I do have the gift of gab; ask anyone that knows me. And even though I am not a professional anchor woman or movie star I do have a lot of experience with TV. Check out my Press Center. In the last three weeks I have been on TV five times and radio three. So I’m not just dreaming (well maybe a little) but I do know I am comfortable in front of a camera.

Anyway, when I heard of Star’s departure, I mildly thought to myself all the reasons I would be good at that job. I don’t know anybody that has done and seen as much as I have in my 51 years of life. And because of that I have an opinion on just about everything. For instance, this 24 year-old man works for me who raises pit bull dogs. He also has three young children. For a year I have been expounding my opinion of his poor judgment: pit bulls and children don’t mix. Sure enough, last week the pit bull took a hunk of flesh out of the back of his leg. Thank God it was not one of his children’s faces! We’ve all heard our bad decisions will come back to bite us in the ass later. Not his, this one bites him in the leg. Ouch!

Anyone out there know how to get me on The View?

Posted by kerry